Buddy Info Quotes

[Amalcas]

I got these from a part of a buddy profile, and found them amusing enough. So, lets answer "Life's unanswered questions":

-If u swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?

-Can u put a gay man in a straight jacket?

-Do stairs go up or down?

-If hooters had a door-to-door-delivery service, would it be called knockers?

-Can bald men get lice?

-Is sign language the same in English as it is in Spanish?

-Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" if he's a frikin monkey?

-Can the spirit of the dead watch u in the shower?

-Can crop circles be square?

-How do they get the air inside of bubble wrap?

-Can a person die while choking on a lifesaver?

-If a criminal turns himself in, does he get the reward money?

-If u drink a pepsi in a coke factory, will they fire u?

-If u drink a coke in a pepsi factory, will they fire u?

-Are kid-actors that act in rated R movies allowed to see them without supervision?

-Do ducks sneeze?

-Can u eat a grape while looking at someone straight in the eye and not smile?

-Do fish sleep?

-Has anyone actually killed two birds with 1 stone?

-What does the K stand for in K-MART?

-Why doesn't glue dry in the bottle?

-How did the headless horse man know where he was going?

-If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

-Can good looking Eskimo girls be hot?

-What is the opposite of opposite?

-Why does Goofy stand up while pluto is on all fours? there both dogs!

-If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

-If a robber tried to rob a club, and yelled "everybody get down," would the people dance?

-Why are pennies bigger than dimes?

-How can u hear urself think?

-Why does "twinkle twinkle little star," "baa baa black sheep," and "the alphabet song" have the same tune?

-Did Adam and Eve have navels?

-Why do they call it "fixing ur dog" when it doesnt work after the operation?

-How can somebody "draw a blank?"

-Why does lightning make the power go out if its electricity?

-How is baseball the American pastime? A man with 4 balls can't walk!

-If you try to fail and succeed, what the heck did u just do?

-Y r some of these questions so stupid?
have fun tryin 2 answer these !

[Tara]

Amalcas said:

-Do stairs go up or down?

They don't go anywheres...

-If hooters had a door-to-door-delivery service, would it be called knockers?

-Is sign language the same in English as it is in Spanish?

-Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" if he's a frikin monkey?

Person who created him must've been a dumbass...

-Can the spirit of the dead watch u in the shower?

Yes. Why would they refuse ;D

-If a criminal turns himself in, does he get the reward money?

and if he did, would that be a good thing...?

-If u drink a pepsi in a coke factory, will they fire u?

-If u drink a coke in a pepsi factory, will they fire u?

lol In real life, I've actually seen someone eating McDonald's in Burger King!

-Can u eat a grape while looking at someone straight in the eye and not smile?

:shrug: how about two men eating hotdogs? ;D

-Why doesn't glue dry in the bottle?

'cause there's no air

-How did the headless horse man know where he was going?

he didn't he had a guide horse (get it? guide dog...HA! )

-If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

-Why does Goofy stand up while pluto is on all fours? there both dogs!

Goofy is evolved...

-If a robber tried to rob a club, and yelled "everybody get down," would the people dance?

-How can u hear urself think?

:shrug: But I know you can most definately hear yourself chew. ;D

-Why does "twinkle twinkle little star," "baa baa black sheep," and "the alphabet song" have the same tune?

:shrug:

-Why do they call it "fixing ur dog" when it doesnt work after the operation?

hehe

-How can somebody "draw a blank?"

Yes, a picture of a very bad blizzard. ;D

-How is baseball the American pastime? A man with 4 balls can't walk!

-If you try to fail and succeed, what the heck did u just do?

fail

-Y r some of these questions so stupid?
have fun tryin 2 answer these !

I need more! Go find me some more!

[Tara]

Jenny said:

-How did the headless horse man know where he was going?
If he can live without his head, he might be psychic, too.

But you need a third eye to be psychic and the third eye is located in between the two eyes.

[Amalcas]

-How can u hear urself think?

You can't, unless you're crazy (schizophrenia).

[PhantomsPandora]

-If u swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?
I dunno, maybe i'll find out and let ya know

-Can u put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Isn't that what people have tried to do for years?

-Do stairs go up or down?
Just like the half full half empty statement, that's all up to the interpreter.

-If hooters had a door-to-door-delivery service, would it be called knockers?
All I know is I'm not answering the door.

-Can bald men get lice?
What would the lice hold on to?

-Is sign language the same in English as it is in Spanish?
I would suppose so.

-Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" if he's a frikin monkey?
Uh....cuz he's stubborn like a donkey? I dunno.

-Can the spirit of the dead watch u in the shower?
If they do, I've no complaints.

-Can crop circles be square?
Only if the circle is inside a square.

-How do they get the air inside of bubble wrap?
With a very tiny needle.

-Can a person die while choking on a lifesaver?
LOL yes, just like you can almost choke to death on jolly ranchers.

-If a criminal turns himself in, does he get the reward money?
absolutely not.

-If u drink a pepsi in a coke factory, will they fire u?
not if i don't get caught

-If u drink a coke in a pepsi factory, will they fire u?
see above.

-Are kid-actors that act in rated R movies allowed to see them without supervision?
No. They have to have chaperones just like everyone else brings their gal pals boy toys, and flavors of da week.

-Do ducks sneeze?
Donald Duck Does. Can't speak for the rest.

-Can u eat a grape while looking at someone straight in the eye and not smile?
Yes.

-Do fish sleep?
Yes, they do, with their eyes open.

-Has anyone actually killed two birds with 1 stone?
If they had a good slingshot they could, but I like birds and the thought of killing them..how awful.

-What does the K stand for in K-MART?
Krap

-Why doesn't glue dry in the bottle?
Because it's closed. Air can't get to it to dry it out.

-How did the headless horse man know where he was going?
Oh please,he's still a man. He didn't ask for directions.

-If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
So the spices in them don't go stale?

-Can good looking Eskimo girls be hot?
I dunno, don't like the girls.

-What is the opposite of opposite?
opposite times infinity.

-Why does Goofy stand up while pluto is on all fours? there both dogs!
One's evolved.

-If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Because the apes in the tree have to live somewhere.

-If a robber tried to rob a club, and yelled "everybody get down," would the people dance?
I"d hope not.

-Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
Because Pennies came first, and no one thought to revise it, I guess.

-How can u hear urself think?
If you're very very quiet.....it's like the sound of a hum..that's your brain working.

-Why does "twinkle twinkle little star," "baa baa black sheep," and "the alphabet song" have the same tune?
Because no one could come up with a better melody at the time, or maybe they got tired of the same words all the time to the one melody. Heck I dunno.

-Did Adam and Eve have navels?
No. They didn't come from the womb, they came from ribs and dirt.

-Why do they call it "fixing ur dog" when it doesnt work after the operation?
Trust me, it's fixing a problem.

-How can somebody "draw a blank?"
Yes...like this _____________________

-Why does lightning make the power go out if its electricity?
Because it hits a powerline thatmakes it possible to make the lights work.

-How is baseball the American pastime? A man with 4 balls can't walk!
Oh, but how they wish they had four and could!

-If you try to fail and succeed, what the heck did u just do?
Beat the odds, I guess.

-Y r some of these questions so stupid?
Why ya askin me you wrote 'em.

[Tigress]

01) If u swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?

It does if you're my dad. ;D

02) Can u put a gay man in a straight jacket?

Yes.

03) Do stairs go up or down?

Both.

04) If hooters had a door-to-door-delivery service, would it be called knockers?

How about "Hooters door-to-door delivery"?

05) Can bald men get lice?

Head lice? No.

06) Is sign language the same in English as it is in Spanish?

Yes. Sign Language is universal.

07) Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" if he's a frikin monkey?

It has something to do with a mistranslation. I couldn't get google to find it for me.

08)Can the spirit of the dead watch u in the shower?

Probably.

09)Can crop circles be square?

That's the same as asking if circles can be square. It's a stupid question. If circles could be square, they'd be squares and not circles.

10) How do they get the air inside of bubble wrap?

Technology.

11) Can a person die while choking on a lifesaver?

Yes, I saw it on Rescue 911.

12) If a criminal turns himself in, does he get the reward money?

I wouldn't think so.

13) If u drink a pepsi in a coke factory, will they fire u?

No.

14) If u drink a coke in a pepsi factory, will they fire u?

No. (I've been in both a pepsi and a coke factory. No one cares).

15) Are kid-actors that act in rated R movies allowed to see them without supervision?

You know, I've always wondered about kids in R-rated movies.

16) Do ducks sneeze?

I'd assume so.

17)Can u eat a grape while looking at someone straight in the eye and not smile?

Yes.

18) Do fish sleep?

Yes.

19) Has anyone actually killed two birds with 1 stone?

More than likely.

20) What does the K stand for in K-MART?

The "K" in "K-Mart" comes from the company's founder, Sebastian Spering Kresge. The stores were called "Kresge" until 1962 when they adopted the "K-Mart" name.


21) Why doesn't glue dry in the bottle?

Because when the bottle is closed, there's no air getting in to dry it out.

22) How did the headless horse man know where he was going?

He's a ghost. Ghosts just know these things.

23) If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Because stale does not necessarily mean "bad."

24) Can good looking Eskimo girls be hot?

Yes.

25) What is the opposite of opposite?

Same or "like."

26) Why does Goofy stand up while pluto is on all fours? there both dogs!

Because Goofy is meant as a human-like character.

27) If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

To expand on their clientele.

28) If a robber tried to rob a club, and yelled "everybody get down," would the people dance?

I doubt it.

29) Why are pennies bigger than dimes?

Because copper is cheaper than alloy? I have no idea.

30) How can u hear urself think?

Well, I usually think out loud to myself in my head.

31) Why does "twinkle twinkle little star," "baa baa black sheep," and "the alphabet song" have the same tune?

Uhm...no imagination on the part of the writers?

32) Did Adam and Eve have navels?

I don't know. Maybe God made them with one so that they wouldn't look weird?

33) Why do they call it "fixing ur dog" when it doesnt work after the operation?

Beats me.

34) How can somebody "draw a blank?"

There's more than one meaning to the word "draw."

35) Why does lightning make the power go out if its electricity?

Because it's an immense amount of electricity, which causes a power serge.

36) How is baseball the American pastime? A man with 4 balls can't walk!

No comment.

37)If you try to fail and succeed, what the heck did u just do?

Suceed at failing.

38) Y r some of these questions so stupid?

Because some people are "so stupid"?

[Amalcas]

Hey! You were being serious! ;D

[Tara]

I know.