Interracial Romance: Is Love Blind?

[littlepea]

admin said:

Sometimes I see the way she spells things has a bit of a British (somebody corrct me if I'm wrong) twist to it. For example, I spell it "humor" and she'll spell it "humour".

that's cos "humour" is the correct way to spell it

[Tigress]

littlepea said:

i don't believe you, or if you are telling the truth, i'm not sure that is the best way to take things. i think it's best to see the cultural differences but think no less of the person because of them.

I should have been more clear and said that it is not something I tend to focus on. If I see woman walking down the street, who just so happens to be 'black,' and she's wearing a shirt I think is cool, I won't say to my friend: 'I like the shirt that black woman is wearing.' I will say: 'I like the shirt that woman is wearing.' Obviously she's 'black,' I see that, so I don't see the need to point it out because I'm sure my friend sees it too. All I'm saying is that I think we (meaning people in general) put too much focus or emphasis on race, as well as culture, in situations that don't require or 'call for' it.

in my experience, the people who have the same opinion as you are generally pretty quiet, easily insulted and generally not much fun, but the people who have the same opinion as me you can always have a laugh with and are not easily insulted. which is better is only a matter of opinion, of course, and i wouldn't tell racist jokes to someone who was sensitive about that sort of stuff.

I can find humour in a good racist or cultural joke just as much as the next person, but I do think there are boundaries one should be careful when crossing.

dianaholberg said:

No confusion over here... I'm guessing you jumped in at the end of the thread. I was clear in my first post.

dianaholberg said:

I think cultural differences that accompany race are the real challenge in these relationships -- not skin color.

Cultural differences that can, and perhaps often do, accompany race, and cultural differences that have no correlation [whatsoever] to race.

I disagree. If you talk and live long enough with a person of a different race, you will discover that there are indeed cultural differences.

I have lived with and talked long enough with people of different races to know that race is not necessarily a precedent for basic or major cultural differences. You can have people of a different race than yourself whose culture is similar to your own, just as you can have people of the same race as yourself whose culture is quite the opposite.

admin said:

Hmmm... well, we both have a different style of writing. But could that really be attributed to cultural differences? Sometimes I see the way she spells things has a bit of a British (somebody corrct me if I'm wrong) twist to it. For example, I spell it "humor" and she'll spell it "humour".

I think it's quite minimal.

Yes, notice that I did say 'basic' or 'major.'

The way people think can be attributed to upbringing such as how they were taught in school and even withiin the same state it can be different amongst schools. But would that be attributed to culture?

I think so, since I define culture as a set of shared goals, practices, social forms, and material traits particular to a certain group or groups of people. It may be a bit too broad of an assumption for some, but aren't our countries, provinces/states, cities/towns/villages/locales like cultures unto themselves in a sense?

littlepea said:

that's cos "humour" is the correct way to spell it

lol

[Tara]

littlepea said:

admin said:

Sometimes I see the way she spells things has a bit of a British (somebody corrct me if I'm wrong) twist to it. For example, I spell it "humor" and she'll spell it "humour".

that's cos "humour" is the correct way to spell it

Well, in school and in many books I've read, I haven't seen it. I now what you mean though, but let's face it, it's an entirely different culture here. Things change. Notice how languages have stemmed from other languagesor have roots elsewhere. If there were still people who spoke Latin, what the hell do you think they would say?

[dianaholberg]

Tiger wrote:

I have lived with and talked long enough with people of different races to know that race is not necessarily a precedent for basic or major cultural differences. You can have people of a different race than yourself whose culture is similar to your own, just as you can have people of the same race as yourself whose culture is quite the opposite.

Yes, I understand your view now that I know your definition of "culture". To me, race is an intrinsic part of one's culture -- for most, it shapes their whole life experience. Those of other races whom I know have a strong cultural identity directly associated with their race.

But I will add that this is something that seems to be talked about more openly among my friends now than when we were younger. I think we feel less pressure to be "tolerant" than we did in younger years. And we appreciate our cultural identities more.

This is not to say we are less tolerant racially -- in fact, we are moreso. We recognize our differences, their importance, and celebrate them as important parts of life rather than trying to pretend they don't exist.

I think this is largely because there is no pretense now -- at my age, when we are entering into a romantic relationship, it is almost explicitly for the purpose of marriage and raising a family. No "shagging" mentality... there's no time left to waste on that.

Plus, as previously mentioned, we have seen the havoc a confused cultural identity often wreaks upon children...

(As an aside, this is one area where I feel Canada is miles ahead of America. Canadians as a whole truly celebrate culture in a way that makes America's attempts look really shallow. If anyone here has never attended a Canadian national celebration, I highly recommend going.)

Tara wrote:

If there were still people who spoke Latin, what the hell do you think they would say?

I dunno... but I checked and they have at least 33 words that mean "humor". ;D

[littlepea]

lol, i know tara, i was just being annoying, US English is different from proper English, it's just one of those things

tiger: as for the black woman's shirt scenario, i probably wouldn't say "look at that black woman's shirt", but if my friend had trouble spotting her and she was the only black person in a busy street full of white people then i would have no hesitation in saying "the black woman" if my friend asked "who?"