|
Post by Tara on Apr 28, 2005 7:41:10 GMT -5
Oh yeah, and spiritman, I forgot to ask something of you. When you end up with her, how important is spirituality and/or her religious preference to you?
|
|
|
Post by spiritman on Apr 28, 2005 18:43:19 GMT -5
Oh yeah, and spiritman, I forgot to ask something of you. When you end up with her, how important is spirituality and/or her religious preference to you? Well it is important to me but I just let her believe what she wants, I don't like telling people what to believe. If she asked me what I believe in etc..I will tell her but I will be slip in some of my beliefs here and there just to see how she handles it. She is testing me so much right now that, this is a test of will power right now. The reason I say that is because she was off today but it was also payday so she came to pick up her check. When she came in she was dressed to "KILL!" She got her check and I had my check, so we were both looking at each other's check's. She was so close to me that our skin almost touched on a few occasions and then she told me that she was with a friend, which I knew right away it was a guy. Now I knew right then and there she was seeing if I was going to get jealous and I just tried to play it off cool, which I think I did. What do you guys think?
|
|
|
Post by Tara on Apr 29, 2005 7:41:23 GMT -5
This is where I get stupid. I'll let someone else answer this one. ;D
|
|
|
Post by littlepea on Apr 29, 2005 11:41:13 GMT -5
i hate when girls do stuff like that, i have no idea what the right thing to do is ... i stick to my principle of "don't overthink things" and that usually works for me (i only fail when i start to overthink again). i've seen one of my special ladies a few times in the library (the other one seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet, but it's ok cos she was my second choice ). we've said hello each time and she still seems interested, i just need a chance to ask her out and i will ... why do these things have to be so complicated?
|
|
|
Post by Tara on Apr 29, 2005 13:38:03 GMT -5
Ok littlepea, in your case, you simply need to chill. I mean, it's not like you're asking her to marry you, you know?
Do you even talk to her? Have you ever had a conversation with her? You should try doing that first before asking her out. She might be flattered, she might have a boyfriend outside of school. You don't know. She might even be interested in you, but you've got to talk.
And if you've been talking to her, I must have missed something in your posts. I mean, saying hi, in the halls and all isn't much. You gotta have conversations and hang out. Take a walk in parks or something, you've got to be friends first (or on your way or something).
You've got to peal the orange before you being to eat it. ;D
|
|
|
Post by spiritman on Apr 29, 2005 14:40:56 GMT -5
Ok littlepea, in your case, you simply need to chill. I mean, it's not like you're asking her to marry you, you know? Do you even talk to her? Have you ever had a conversation with her? You should try doing that first before asking her out. She might be flattered, she might have a boyfriend outside of school. You don't know. She might even be interested in you, but you've got to talk. And if you've been talking to her, I must have missed something in your posts. I mean, saying hi, in the halls and all isn't much. You gotta have conversations and hang out. Take a walk in parks or something, you've got to be friends first (or on your way or something). You've got to peal the orange before you being to eat it. ;D Hey littlepea Tara is totally right you have to really make converstation with her and find out what she is like. At first when I saw the girl at work that I like, I didn't have the courage to talk to her and gave away my power cause of her beauty. I don't know what your money situation is like but I highly recommend that you get this program I bought, even though it is $47 dollars for 5 months, it has helped me out so MUCH! Even though there are somethings in there I don't agree with I take what I agree with and use it to the best of my ablities. [ftp]http://doubleyourdatingadvice.com/e/11054/AdvancedSeries/[/ftp] I have been getting looks by other women and plus I think she already knows what I am doing on some level so she is testing me to the max right now. Even though it is tough, I am just trying to look at her as a average girl and plus that she is my ex girlfriend, even though she is is not even my girlfriend. It helps alot by looking at this kind of situation in that kind of point of view, because it sort of gets you out of the thought of "I want her to be my girlfriend." Remember one thing that from what I am seeing that women make men take all of the risk and make them make all of the moves, so you just got to take the steps. Make sure that you don't rush it and just take baby steps one by one, and see where it goes from there.
|
|
|
Post by Tara on Apr 29, 2005 15:12:49 GMT -5
Aww shoot! Look at spiritman tellin' it like it is! lol
|
|
|
Post by littlepea on Apr 29, 2005 16:40:25 GMT -5
it's not as bad as all that, we've been talking all year, she likes hip-hop music and at least pretends to be interested whenever i talk about football (which is not as often as you'd think ) and we do all the same subjects except i'm at uni, not school, so the only times i ever see her are if we both happen to be in the library (cos it's exam time just now - no lectures or tutorials, just gotta study). the good news is that she seems to use the library about as often as i do, and whenever we see each other we always come over and say hello - except it's a library, not an ideal place to have a conversation, you know? i think she's interested but shy because she always thinks of reasons to talk to me on her way out ... the last time we spoke was before an exam (last wednesday). i was sitting doing some last-minute revision and she walked past and pinched my shoulders - it was quite tickly and i looked up to see it was her (hurray!). she asked "is half of this paper all multiple choice?" and i said it was, and she replied saying "ah f**k" - a bit coarse, but i'm the same so i don't mind - then she walked off for lunch before the exam or whatever. the point is that we'd known all year that half the exam was multiple choice so she really didn't need to ask me that - i think she just wanted an excuse to talk to me, but she left pretty speedily after i gave her an answer ... i'm 90% certain that if i asked her out then she'd say yes, i just need to do it ... this is what i mean about overthinking - i'm fine about not over-thinking until it comes to the point when i want to ask her out - it's been the same all my life, i've not had many girlfriends despite loads of girls actually fancying me ... i ain't even kidding i'm not up for buying stuff to tell me how to get girls, though, i'll figure it out on my own soon enough
|
|
|
Post by Tara on Apr 29, 2005 17:17:56 GMT -5
i was sitting doing some last-minute revision and she walked past and pinched my shoulders - it was quite tickly and i looked up to see it was her (hurray!). ... I'm sorry, but when I got to the "tickly" part, I burst out laughing! I don't know why. It just seemed funny when I read it. And then you went off to sound cheesy with the "(hurray!)" thing. It was kinda funny but cute at the same time. lol I need to stop. Hey, whatever works...although...real men know how to ask for directions.... I'm so glad it's Friday today. ;D
|
|
|
Post by dianaholberg on Apr 29, 2005 18:33:29 GMT -5
littlepea, if you're just being you and getting that kind of attention from her, that's a really good sign that she's interested in you. If you aren't ready to ask her out, why not just do something nice as a next step like bring in some kind of special snack to share, or find something else you can do in common separately to talk about when you're together? In other words, branch out from hip-hop... you're an interesting guy with a great perspective on things. Share that. As for "treating her like your ex-" and stuff like that... it may work if you want to attract attention from a lot of girls, but if you're focused on finding the right relationship I wouldn't recommend that.
|
|
|
Post by littlepea on Apr 29, 2005 18:51:21 GMT -5
nah, it's all good, the silliness was intended, though it was also true a good point, and i have no problem asking for directions, it's just the whole paying for it ... not a big fan of spending money on that sort of thing ... littlepea, if you're just being you and getting that kind of attention from her, that's a really good sign that she's interested in you. see, i am being me, as i do all the time around everyone (as much as possible - i don't like it when people act differently around different people, it just seems fake) and i know these are good signs, but i never seem to notice the signs until minutes after it's too late ... and then i'm left to think about them for a few days until i see her again ... it's so frustrating, i just have to ask her out ... you mean, play it cool and stuff? i don't even know how ... and i don't think it would attract the sort of girls that interest me ...
|
|
|
Post by spiritman on Apr 29, 2005 18:52:39 GMT -5
As for "treating her like your ex-" and stuff like that... it may work if you want to attract attention from a lot of girls, but if you're focused on finding the right relationship I wouldn't recommend that. Yeah I know it just helps me alittle bit to stay focus on what is going on when I am around her. I found out that she has yahoo email so I will be giving her my email tomorrow and give her some rules about it before I give it to her. When I do get a email from her I will tell her what I am looking for but until then I just slip in a few things here and there just to see how she reacts and then go from there. I don't want to show all my cards at once because I did that before and totally got screwed, so I am taking this very slowly to see how it goes. I know I can't plan everything and I have to let everything just happen but at the same time do my part in some way.
|
|
|
Post by psyence on Apr 30, 2005 1:52:39 GMT -5
Lol, don't pay money if you don't feel like it. Check out some of these: www.sosuave.com/articles/default.htmI don't stand by all of them, and I forgot most of the stuff they wrote up there (some of it is crappy, too), but it's not bad to read over. I mean, many (not all) girls have all these Cosmopolitan and such magazines with "tips" and what not, or "secret advise from men". So, it doesn't seem illogical check up on some free material online, and I think that site's a decent source (from what I read 3+ years ago, lol). But when it comes down to your situation, I think getting her email is a good idea. You said you want to drop her hints tho and stuff like that? I don't think it's neccessary. If she's attracted to you physically (one part of 'initial' attraction), then she'll take you asking her out as a sign. Basically, actions as signs can be better than words as a sign. Saying things may just start to sound creepy or cheesy, like "been missing you, bye", or "I've been thinkign about you a lot, can't wait to see you again". Something like "I had a great time, let's do this again!" would be better after a first date. Or, ah man I'm writing too much. Just keep it casual and fun. Try to think of things as friends first tho, because if she needs time to ease into this nothing is worse than feelin smothered or knowing the other person is really into you before you've made your own mind up. It's really important to read her in this case. Give her time to like you, think about you, and get "into" you after a possible first date, or even conversations on the phone or online. Space is important, because it gives time to reflect (but don't entirely feel you have to dissapear, lol. or you'll seem to unavailable and it might be annoying). I'm just trying to say that a friendly, fun and possibly flirtatious environment is a good one to start off in. Don't let it drag on too long tho after becomming better friends, though, if you feel she might be interested. Cuz then she might push you away thinking that's all you see her as, and when you bring your feeling up later it migth be like "ehhh... I just closed myself up to him.. ". Geez this crap is crazy eh, maybe you should just buy a damn book! lol. But really, it's all good. Learning from experience isn't bad either. But if you reach 35 years of age and still have troubles.. buy a book! They're not that bad I'm thinking (haven't resorted to one yet.. just been learning from the hard hits to the heart lol ). g'luck
|
|
|
Post by Tara on Apr 30, 2005 8:05:35 GMT -5
littlepea, just act like she's your friend. You've had friends that were females before right? I found out that she has yahoo email so I will be giving her my email tomorrow and give her some rules about it before I give it to her. "rules"? Be careful of your wording. Don't ever use that word. People really use these things? lol What's so nice about us women is that, we can use our instincts. ;D I rarely read those magazines. They make me sick with all that stereotypical stuff making people feel ugly and go anorexic and all. They don't put emphasis on natural beauty (probably b/c they have to advertise those products). And every other page on those things are ads. Tht would be kinda pathetic though...poor guy.
|
|
|
Post by littlepea on Apr 30, 2005 15:09:10 GMT -5
my best friends since school have been girls (3 in particular), i'm good at being friends, but i always leave it too late when i need to ask one of them out. the previous girlfriends that i've had i picked up at parties (i knew them quite well before the parties, but that's just how we hooked up) it's so much easier, just get them on their own and go talk to them, go for a walk or whatever and then hold hands and kiss ... i've not kissed a girl i really like in ages, only random slags in clubs ... i don't really like clubs but i go every now and then with my friends ...
honestly, i don't have a big problem talking to girls or getting them to like me, it's just i can never force myself to make the first move in case i make an utter fool of myself (with previous girlfriends they've either made the first move or made it unbelievably obvious or had their friend tell me they like me). often i miss my chance (i've missed far more chances than i've had girlfriends) and i feel really angry at myself for missing out, this time it has to be different, i can't let myself go without at least seeing if she feels the same way ... maybe she'll be in the library tomorrow ...
|
|