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Post by Tara on Sept 17, 2005 7:25:44 GMT -5
Interracial romance: Is love blind?Date: Tuesday, September 13, 2005 By: Match.com When I was in high school, I was desperately in love with the captain of the soccer team. But what girl in my class wasn't? He was tall, handsome, beautifully built, smart, funny and white. I, on the other hand, was class president, pretty, smart, sassy and black. But to him, I was virtually invisible. After weeks of incessant flirting, I finally gave up. I dusted off my ego and chalked the defeat up to the fact that the homecoming queen had cast a spell over him. But in the back of my mind, I had the sinking suspicion that his disinterest had more to do with my black than her beauty. ( continue) What do you think of interracial relationships? How are they viewed in your area?
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Post by dianaholberg on Sept 17, 2005 11:04:13 GMT -5
They are basically nonexistent in my area. Of course, I haven't always lived here... this is one of those areas where I say it's entirely up to the individuals involved. I think cultural differences that accompany race are the real challenge in these relationships -- not skin color.
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Post by littlepea on Sept 17, 2005 14:39:59 GMT -5
one of my friends shagged a black girl on a night out once and he said it was the best thing he's ever done, just the whole white on black thing ... sorry if that's brought things to a new low (which would difficult, considering some of our discussions in the past) but that's how interracial relations are viewed where i come from.
as for actual relationships, not just one-night-stands, i don't think they're either encouraged or frowned upon, really. nobody cares, it's just your own preference (i used to be obsessed with black women, but now i'm not too bothered).
in fact, now i think about it, i think relatioships between asians and whites are slightly frownd upon. nobody minds black people in scotland but i think asians are still discriminated against even at the best of times. also some protestant families might not want their kids dating catholic kids and vice versa.
perhaps it's not so much skin colour as family background then, i dunno.
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Post by PhantomsPandora on Sept 17, 2005 18:42:21 GMT -5
I don't know, the only black guy I dated was in junior high and he ended up being my best friend. Girls of either color in the school hated me for it and it followed in to high school too.
I'd say I'm fine with dating a black man, I'm more uncomfortable with the reaction from the outside. I don't think my grandparents would care or my parents.
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Post by ophelia97 on Sept 19, 2005 12:56:45 GMT -5
They aren't discouraged or looked upon negatively in my area. Most people just do what they want and date the person they want w/o interference.
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Post by Tara on Sept 19, 2005 14:02:57 GMT -5
For those who said it is neutral in your area...have you ever been in an interracial relationship to experience your position first hand? I mean, some people could say, "Oh, I couldn't care less people should have the freedom to be with whomever they choose!"
But then tables can turn when the situation does present itself to that person. They can see it and all of a sudden they aren't as open as they claimed they were.
(see littlepea, I caught myself ;D)
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Post by dianaholberg on Sept 19, 2005 19:35:14 GMT -5
The closest I ever came was going on a first date with a Puerto Rican man. Oh, and I used to go out as friends with an African American guy, but we never considered dating. I go to lunch with men from all over -- we must have men from at least five countries in my office -- but that's on business so I don't count it. But I never said I was open to interracial dating... I have enough to handle with caucasian men -- why would I want to add cultural differences to the mix?
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Post by littlepea on Sept 20, 2005 4:00:50 GMT -5
tara - eh?
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Post by Tara on Sept 20, 2005 7:41:31 GMT -5
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Post by dianaholberg on Sept 20, 2005 7:42:32 GMT -5
What did you mean when you said you "caught yourself"? (I didn't get it either...)
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Post by Tara on Sept 20, 2005 11:59:16 GMT -5
Oh, usually littlepea corrects me when I say, "could care less", but I caught myself and said it right.
Anyway, how diverse were the areas in which you lived diana?
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Post by ophelia97 on Sept 20, 2005 12:18:53 GMT -5
I've come close to it. I wanted to, but then I found out he was engaged and couldn't bring myself to be in "the other woman" position. Now that I think of it, he also said something about wanting 4 wives ;D
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Post by littlepea on Sept 20, 2005 18:22:44 GMT -5
lol, yes, you're right, tara, i often do correct you about that (you got it wrong in the poll, you see?) but when you said it right i didn't even notice ... maybe that's cos it makes sense when you say it right and it didn't stand out like a sore thumb like it usually does when you get it wrong
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Post by Tigress on Sept 20, 2005 18:40:07 GMT -5
I'm not sure how people in my community view interracial relationships because I honestly don't pay that much attention, to be truthful. It may just be me, but when I look at a person, I don't see a race, a culture, a hair colour, a religion, etc; I see another human being. Someone who, like me, is just trying to do the best they can with what they have, more or less.
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Post by dianaholberg on Sept 20, 2005 20:59:23 GMT -5
Tara, although the location I live in now is not diverse, I have lived in a number of diverse areas. The most diverse, of course, was the Washington DC area -- I was there on and off for 10 years. Richmond, VA, where I grew up is somewhat diverse -- with a high Jewish population... also a high African American population concentrated downtown... my highschool was less diverse. But before moving to VA, my family lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana -- the middle school I attended there was mostly African American.
Right now my workplace is very diverse, but most of the out of towners fly home on weekends, so we only socialize over lunch. But we discuss cultural differences rather often -- most of us are single and concerned with these things (how to raise children if we marry, etc.).
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